Finally I’m 49


Finally I’m 49.

Time flies so fast, and so scary.

Another year, I will be half a century old.

*******

Vaguely I remember the two red colored eggs and the big chicken drumstick that my late mother reserved for me.... every year.

That old lady remembered every of my birthday.

But sadly to say I had never remembered hers, and never once greeted her Happy Birthday!

Now that she is gone, the past memories still haunt me from time to time.

*******

Finally I’m 49.

Standing on my own cross road, I am indecisive as to what to do next.

The past lives are not without their failures, mistakes, and shortcomings,

And the future is filled with anxieties, risks, and uncertainties.

*******

If only I had been more careful and focused in my past, I would have done better.

If only I can be more optimistic, enterprising, and confident of my future, I may do well.

As it is, I still have many wasted years and wasted lives,

Leaving me to mourn, despair and regret for a long while.

*******

Finally I’m 49.

But it isn’t time to complain,

Or blaming myself, others, or God the Almighty.

What has happened is destined to be,

And what will come, will come.

*******

But it doesn’t have to be this way all along,

Life is not just doing what I can and want to do,

It is not just taking thing as it is, or accepting thing as it comes.

Life is not just a matter of bragging about what I know and really know.

It is not just the many feelings and emotions,

It is about living and doing with all my mind, all my heart, all my will, all my strength, and all my being.

Life always has its order and direction.

We don’t do things at our whims and fancies.

Life is not a matter of doing what we want, when we want, where we want, how we want, or with whom.

It’s more than that.

It is self-oriented and self-directed,

It’s people-centered and God inspired.

*******

Finally I am 49,

Still making not much of a progress and success in life,

But I’m really happy and feeling blessed,

Except for the many unfulfilled dreams that keep haunting me from time to time.

3 comments:

VanillaSeven said...

Happy Birthday Yeo!

Just enjoy life and don't think too much about age. Age are just a numbers.

May God renewed your youth and strength like Caleb.

GPARTHA said...

happy birthday
have a wonderfulday and cheers
gpartha

Don E. Chute said...

50 is the new 30. I am 51 so consider yourself lucky.


PLU1