The Cooling Stream

Some people change their children's family name when they marry again. There are also those who prefer to keep their children's family name. I am of the opinion that we should keep the children's family name until they have grown up.

Many of us parents neglect our children's feelings when we marry again. We want our children to inherit our second husband's name. We want them to forget their biological father completely. As far as possible, we don't want anyone in the family to mention our ex-husband's name again.

But a fact is always a fact; it can never be changed. Whether we like it or no, the truth can never be hidden forever; it will be uncovered eventually and everyone will have to face the music, and the consequences may be painful and devastating.

Children have every right to know their biological father. They have the right to bear the name of their father. They have the right to meet up with him and stay with him. We have no right to stop them.

I strongly believe that we should keep our children's family name if we choose to remarry. I believe we should let the children make their own decision whether to change their surname when they are big enough to decide.

I believe our children have every right to keep their family name.

Do you force your children to do things they don't like? Do you think by doing so you are bringing up your children the right way? Do you think your children will readily listen to you in the future? Or do you think forcing your children is not a good way to bring up your children?

Some parents instruct their children in how to do certain things in life, and the children listen and understand, and act on what they hear.

Some parents leave their children to learn to walk by themselves without bothering to help them. The children grow up with a strongly developed sense of identity and purpose. Sometimes, they grow up with inferiority because of constant teasing from people.

There are also parents who insist on forcing their children to do what they want. It doesn't matter if the children don't like it; they just have to follow orders.

Some children become rebellious when they are forced to do what they don't like. They are annoyed and sometimes angered at the parents' orders. Sometimes they protest to show their frustration. Sometimes they do the works half-heartedly. Sometime they just walk away without doing anything.

Some children become quiet, reserved and afraid to speak out. They follow the orders but deep inside they are not happy. They do the works well, making sure that everything runs smoothly. And they try not to rebel. They try to keep silent because they are afraid and uncertain of their parents' love.

Some children become well-disciplined. They follow orders to the letter. They respect and honor their parents. They think and feel it is alright to do what they are told. They are very obedient and teachable, and always find ways to please their parents.

How about you? Do you force your children to do things they don't like?

Any comment or suggestion?

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When we were young, we were the center of attraction. The world revolved around us and our family took very good care of us. They provided our every need and want, and they were always around, and always ready to give us their love, their care, their concern, and their commitment.

Of course, there were some among us who were not that blessed or lucky. We might have lost our parents when we were very young, or we might not be that close with our parents, or we might not always get all that we wanted. Some of us had to work really hard to provide for our basic needs, and some of us was taught very early to earn all that we wanted. We are all different. Nevertheless, we must never deny the fact that all of us were given love and care from people around us when we were young.

Now that we have grown up and have our own children; it is our turn to provide for our children's needs and wants. Of course, as loving and caring parents, we want them to receive the best love, care, and attention from us. And if possible, we want to give them everything they desire and want.

But as we think through, and from the many experiences that we have shared together, we decide to limit our children's needs and wants. We don't want to give them everything. We only want to give them everything that is beneficial and helpful to them. We don't want them spoiled! We want them to be useful and helpful individuals who are ready to serve the family, community, society, and nation.

Of course, there will be times when we have differences, doubts, and clashes with our children. But then, we can always sit down together to resolve our differences and conflicts. We are of one family and blood is always thicker than water.

Being a parent and bringing up children is not an easy task. In fact, it is one of the hardest jobs that requires great patience and dedication. It is a challenging job with a lot of responsibilities. But it is the most satisfying and rewarding job that we can have. But the fact remains: we will always give all that is beneficial and helpful to them, and we will never give them all that they ask.

What is your opinion on this? Do you think we should give our children all that they want?

Any comment or suggestion?

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